Quality Time

Back in high school, I was the oddball in my group of friends: I did not want kids. Period. Ever. I was already focused on what career I would have, and while I did dream about what kind of guy I would marry, I didn’t ever see kids in the picture I had of my future. I wasn’t what one would consider “maternal.” I didn’t babysit as much as my friends did, I didn’t go gaga over babies like they did. I was, quite frankly, awkward and uncomfortable around young children. I was convinced having kids of my own was just not in my makeup.

All of that changed when Kenny and I started dating. I knew fairly soon into our relationship that we would raise a family together. I’m not sure how I knew it; I just did. I could see it. And I became excited about the prospect.

So while my life now is nothing like I pictured it back when I was in high school, I wouldn’t change it. I may have a master’s degree, I don’t have much of a career right now, but what I do have is a beautiful little boy.

I’m actually kind of proud of how fast I picked up on this motherhood thing. I went from knowing practically nothing (it’s true: ask my friend Karen how much I picked her brain when I was pregnant on how to raise a kid!) to figuring things out as I go and continually learning along the way. You’re sort of forced to learn quickly with a firstborn child; you ain’t got no other choice!

And you know what? It’s not always easy, but everything works out in the end. Even if you make a mistake, you just try another way. And I know as long as I continue to feel the overwhelming and unconditional love that I have for this little creature I helped to bring into this world, all is well.

Being able to stay home and have so much quality time with Riley has been wonderful, and I hope I can continue it for a long time. Otherwise, I would miss out on many special moments like these:

 

Even though you really didn’t have a choice, I still thank you, Riley, for letting me be your mom. I love you!